Lovely Friend,
As I begin this
diary of sorts, I am logging my thoughts on my weight loss journey. You see, I actually haven’t lost any weight
yet, but I have come to a breaking point.
You would think that
after being in a size 22 and spending nearly $300 on a new wardrobe that I
would have gotten myself in check, but the truth is, the clothes made me feel
good. I liked my new wardrobe because I
no longer felt frumpy. My clothes actually
fit! And I would stand in front my
half-mirror in the bathroom and lie to myself about my expanding size. I know it sounds crazy, but I would tell
myself, “You’re not that big.” I would
be shocked to see myself in pictures or in a full length mirror. My mind always told myself that I was smaller
than I actually was. Because of this
lie, the size did not trigger my breaking point.
You might even think
that the extravagant number of almost 280 on the scale, especially compared to
some BMI charts, would trigger some panic in me. Nope, not even a bit. I told myself that even when I was healthy
and thin at 160lbs that the weight charts had me in an overweight category. I had ridden off those charts as no good, and
stored my massive weight in the back of my mind.
“Your blood pressure
is high.” Those simple words from a
dental hygienist about to assist the dentist with a filling struck more terror
in me than ever before. Although, I have
been overweight for about 7 years, I never really had health problems from
it. I have hypothyroidism, which I have
had since ninth grade (at a very normal weight I might add!) and PCOS, which
was discovered during my high school days, so I never considered those health
problems associated with my weight. I
always thought that I would have them, regardless of my weight. Because I have PCOS, I take medicine that is
often prescribed to diabetics, so a Type II Diabetes diagnosis has not occurred
because I am already remedying the situation.
I now believe that even with PCOS, I am probably in this category. Now, let’s get back to the high blood
pressure. I have always been proud that
even with such a high weight that I have always had a perfect 120/80! But twice at the dentist within 1 week, I had
blood pressure that was 150/90, not good!
This, my friends, was enough to scare me. I don’t mean scare me for a moment and then
go back to old ways. I mean serious, hard-core change.
Thus, my weight loss
journey has begun. I certainly do NOT
expect that this will be easy and I know that I will make mistakes, but doesn’t
that define a journey after all.
Giving it my all,
Jess
Update: I have been to the doctor at this point and my blood pressure was back in the normal range. He thinks that my nerves triggered the high number but I am on this weight loss journey never-the-less!
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